The man who forgot Christmas

Ally McGilvray • Published 24 Dec 2009 14:00 0 Comments

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A DOTING dad has revealed he has not celebrated Christmas since his son died seven years ago - because he blames himself for the tragic accident which led to his untimely death.

Robert Sibbald, of Whitelee, near Galashiels, lost Jason in a car crash in the Borders on December 21, 2002 - just weeks after helping him pass his driving test. He was aged just 26.

He has since banned Christmas cards, Christmas presents and Christmas trees from his life because, he revealed, they reminded him of the day he had to bury his son.

However, the grieving 55-year-old former Territorial Army (TA) driving instructor, who believes Jason would still be alive had he not paid for all his lessons, has setup a web-page on social-networking site Bebo in memory of the tyre-fitter and admitted he hopes comments and photographs left by his friends and family may numb his pain so that he may, in future, celebrate Christmas once again.

Speaking to the Border Telegraph on the seventh anniversary of his death this week, Mr Sibbald - who revealed he still has Christmas presents for Jason from seven years ago which have remained unopened - said: "The last time I remember Christmas I buried my son. I don't celebrate it now."

"That year all we did was try to organise Jason's funeral. But, because of the holidays, we couldn't bury him until January.

"I've not bought a Christmas card for seven years now and there's no Christmas trees up in the house. They remind me of the time he was taken from us.

"Jason was killed within three months of me getting him his licence and putting his car on the road so I kind of blame myself for it.

"Now all I think about when I remember Christmas is seeing the flowers, the hearse, police, his grave and presents lying unopened. If that fades then I might again look towards Christmas once again.

"I've still got Christmas presents wrapped up to this day from 2002.

"They say time heals the pain but it never heals - it will be there until the day I die. The only thing time does is make it easier to cope."

The former Galashiels Academy pupil, who stayed with his girlfriend in Innerleithen at the time of his death, was killed in a two-car crash near Walkerburn after his Nissan Bluebird and a Toyota 4-Runner collided close to the junction with Holylee Farm on the A72 road between Galashiels and Peebles.

He had just started a new job at ATS in Galashiels two months earlier having worked at the town's Ostles for the previous seven years.

As well as the website, his family - including his mum Gillian and two brothers Ross, 30, and Darren, 26 - have set up a shrine just yards from the smash scene and built a bench, which overlooks his hometown, in his memory.

And, on Monday, they visited his grave at Heatheryett Cemetery in Galashiels to lay a wreath of remembrance.

Mr Sibbald, who has also named a star in memory of his son and has a personalised car number plate which spells out his name, said: "I want to make sure no-one forgets him as long as I live.

"Jason was such a happy-go-lucky person. He was known for his laughter - he was always laughing and smiling. He was the perfect son and full of life.

"I never knew just how much he was loved and liked until I turned up at the funeral and saw the church and graveside was packed."

But he added: "The biggest regret I have is I missed so much of him growing up. I spent 18 years in the TA and was away almost every weekend."

Mr Sibbald explained that when creating the web-page he struggled to find photographs of Jason between the ages of 15 and 26. However, following an appeal amongst family and friends, he has now uploaded more than 200 photos to the site.

And he has urged as many people as possible to log on and comment on them to keep his memory alive.

He now carries a camera with him every time he goes out with his family so he never misses a moment.

Mr Sibbald, who had a ring engraved with the words 'I will always watch over you dad', said: "It still hurts to visit Jason's grave. I always have a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye." But he added: "Sometimes I just look up at the sky and wonder if he is there looking down."

To pay your own tributes to Jason or to contact the family with your own photographs of him, log on to his website: http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=8395709340, alternatively email: robert.sibbald@homecall.co.uk

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