I WANDERED roond the shops and wondered, How many wedded years I’d blundered, How often throughout wedded life, I’ve bought the wrong thing for the wife!

Jewellery that lost its spark, Liquers that glowed when it was dark, Cheap perfume wrapped to make it grand And lingerie that should be banned!

This year I gave it much more thought I see unwrapped that thing I’d bought, Her falling face would make you greet I ken I’ve lost the gift receipt ! ! !.

The Melrose Poet